I'm not nervous, I bite my nails to build my immune system

Hi! Let me begin by saying that I really appreciate everyone who reads this! If you have something you'd like me to read, tell me cos I love to read and I believe in doing unto others and blah. Please don't take that in religious way.

Ok, so I thought it pertinent to write about how I'm feeling before my first bout, a monumental occasion in my life.

So, let's begin at the start of today. I awoke. At eight. Then again at nine. Kat and I got up. I shower 98.9% of the mornings in my life, but we were in a hurry so I didn't, I showered last night after derby anyway. I did wash my forearms though, cos I had a little tussle with Rosie and she makes my arm skin itch. Did I spell 'tussle'right? Tustle? Hm.

We then drove into town. I suffered from road rage as usual and for the fortieth time wished one and two cent pieces were still in circulation so I could keep a handful to throw at other cars. I'm too stingy to throw a handful of fivers. We got to the city and got a coffee from Gloria Jean's. There was a girl in there with a really cool mohawk but it stopped just after it passed her crown so there was no back bit. It was all spiked up and made me wish I had short hair again. I got over it. We walked on to the Button Bar, which is in a little arcade off the mall. It has many thousands of bits of shit which is great, but it's expensive, which is not. I'm going to run through a list of what I bought and why. The patches are all for my boutfit. If you happen to read this before saturday which is tomorrow, and you live in Adelaide and come to the roller derby bout, see if you can spot them on my dress, if you care to.

Ok, no. 1 is a little skeleton. She has a little red bow in her hair. I bought it cos kat bought the boy one and wanted us to match.

No. 2 is a little turtle with a swag over his shoulder. I bought him cos slow and steady can win the race, and I want it to remind me to be patient when I jam.

No. 3 is a cheetah, which is fast! No brainer there.

No. 4 is crossed racing flags with 'champion' superimposed in front of it. it might be a brand of something but that isn't the reason I got it. It's for the back of my dress, cos whenever I pass people I want them to see it and remember who they are dealing with.

I already have a cool little skeleton with a top hat ready for the pocket.

After the button bar, we went to Lincraft, which, let me say NEVER HAS ENOUGH STAFF!!!!!! Get that shit sorted, please. There I bought felt to make my TOP HAT (yes that's right) for the bout and also two little apple patches for the straps at the front instead of buttons. One has a bite out of it, no worm though.

Intermission time! For entertainment we are going to take a look at a small list of words I like.

- bauble

- flux

- juxtaposition ( I say this lots lately)

- tinny

- tanky ( not a word but I think it should be, it's so much fun to say and write! Try it on for size.)

Back to my day. When I was in Lincraft, there was a mother, her mother and two kids in the button section. The kids were playing with the buttons, way too much. Knocking shit over too. Since I don't work there and also the lack of staff pisses me off, I encouraged the kids to look at more. One even got out of the pram to do so. This happy scene reminded me of one of my favourite fantasies (non-sexual) where I go into a button store with about five other like-minded people and we fly into a frenzied rage and grab all the tubes of buttons and rip the lids off and throw the contents high into the air and about the place. Beautiful plasticy arcs, a cacophony of clicking and tapping as they hit one another, bouncing against our ankles as they fall on the ground... buttons falling in my dreads and down our shirts, someone ( probably me) holding buttons in front of their eyes, pretending they're Coraline, everyone laughing in slow motion and slapping their knees and shoulders... Button angels...

They would have to close up shop. there's no recovering from that. A disaster really. I wouldn't wanna cause anyone that much heartache and loss of livelihood. I guess that's why fantasies are exactly that.

Getting kinda long now, sorry. The rest is pretty boring, I went home and started to make my top hat, it's looking pretty good so far.

So, I'm really pumped for tomorrow. I have absolutely no idea what to expect. I know I wanna have fun and try my hardest. I've never done anything in front of a crowd like this. I've also never been a part of anything so amazing. The derby girls are a breed of their own. They support and love each other as if they're all sisters, it's mind-blowing to say the least.

Alright! I'm off to finish my hat! But before I go... last night I invented something in my head, I had the best idea probably ever. It goes like this: derby girls have to drag that wheely bag thing around with all their gear in it. It's sucky if you're knackered. Last night I thought: 'what if it had BIGGER wheels and it was like a segway with a seat? So, without further ado, je vous présante...

my diagram of my invention!!! I'm not very good at drawing but you can get the basic idea...

Can't wait for tomorrow! Wish me luck!

Tx