Thursday, May 20, 2010

Bunny rage: this could break out into a fight - or dancing.

Well, there really isn't a point to this post (is there to any of them?), I just felt such an impulse to write. I am having a verrrry chilled out day. I'm home by myself, nothing I have to do, so it's just me and the dogs chillaxin'.
Earlier, I realised that the last time I sat on my front poorch to get some sun was at the begining of summer last year.
'Y'know what?' - (This is my inner monologue talking)
'Y'know what? I'm gunna sit on the porch. So, I grabbed a grape soda and set out to flex.
The plan didn't go quite as envisaged. I moved two of the wheelie bins to block the gap below the gate, under which can fit a fattish white dog, let alone a skinny black one. This I thought was effective til a snorting pig-like thing rumbled past and both dogs launched for it. I grabbed Sunny by her generous back skin in time and then Rosie by her shoulders. I had to put my iphone down, which I am loathe to do ever.
Plan revised: lie recycling bin on its side to fully block the gap.
After this, I thought I might try lying on the concrete. I drew my knees up and spread my dreads out like a sparkling array of bayonets at sunrise. My arms I let fall out to each side, like that basketball pic without the basketball and lying on the ground, not 8 ft into the air.
I looked at the sky and thought lots of things. Why is the sky blue? Lucky, cos I reckon green would look icky. Why do planes leave a white trail across the sky? How did I get so old so quick? Where did that beach towel go that I used to have when I was little with a pic of a kid swimming on it? All of these things and more were whirling around inside my head cavity and I felt like I was in a centrifuge or one of those game show things where you get in a booth with money flying around everywhere (or is it cans of food). Anyway, I was really enjoying it, I could tell cos my face was smiling. Suddenly the Turton st banshee (over the road neighbour) let out a cry that would awaken even the deafest cadaver. I sat up (slowly, that's how things seem to be going lately) and tipped my sunnies up to get a look at her cave with my keen eyes. After the glare seared my retinas, I decided that hearing her was enough. Boy, was she tearing her kids to bits! She ruined my reverie but I was still chilled so I didn't care.
Then, I noticed that the pink bit of fluff that the dogs had been fighting over was actually a severed bunny head minus the fluffy filling. It fit neatly over my fist. I could make it look this way and that, raise one sceptic eyebrow, widen both eyes in horror (or fright), nodd and... dance. Oh, did I make that bunny head dance. Humming the tune Another One Bites the Dust by Queen, I fused a little bit of flashdance with some MC Hammer shit and letter rip. There was even a moonwalk in there. As I was practicing making the bunny do the splits, my neighbour arrived and we had a little chat, thus ended my afternoon in the sun.
So, that's about it. Oh, except for last night I dreamt I was watching a rodeo then we had a feast, but there was so much cheese! I was in cheese 'heaven'... camembert, jarlsberg, gouda... weird but tantalising.
Have a great weekend!

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