Friday, April 30, 2010

Update on cockmuncher {nothing to do with actual cock, gross}.

I'm drinking my water from a glass stein with the Hooters logo on it. I have two of them. They were a gift to my Dad but when he died I got them back. That isn't meant to make you sad, just sayin'. I went to every Hooters I could when I was in Canada and that country that joins it underneath, what's it called again?

Jokes... *blank face*

Anyway, outside the hollywood one there was a giant Hooters owl. I presumed it was filled with air and just positioned there until close of business, at which time it would be deflated and stowed for the next working day. I thought I was super cool and daring when I hugged it and gave it a lil bum squeeze. When it hugged me back and I squealed like I was in Deliverance, I realised there was a dude in there. Good one Hooters, you got me. I soothed my grated nerves by going inside, drinking beer, eating wings and looking at big boobs in tight singlets.

Anyway, to the cockmuncher situation. So, our neighbour who shares a wall with us and knows the owner of our place was finally able to get a hold of him and found out that even though the real estate sent us a letter saying that they had been in contact with him about the dogs, THEY IN FACT HAD NOT and he doesn't really mind if they're there! Score one for us, and score a big fat (Kirsty Alley fat) ZILCH for that condescending little banty rooster. Now we just have to go see them and do the righty and get me and the dogs on the lease.

Quick pause for a pic of me with a giraffe I found in K-Mart the other week. It was on the stand of a lingerie mannequin and looked like it didn't belong so I went to the toy section for a look. Sure enough, nothing there that looked like it. So, when I went to the register, this exchange took place:

'Welcome to K-Mart, how are you today?'

'Great thanks, hey listen I found this and I don't think you sell it, I checked...'

'Oh yeah, it was on the stand over there?'


'No, we don't, I think some kid might have dropped it.'

'...can I have it please?'


So that was that and now this lil guy lives with me.

To another issue- I finished reading The Poseidon Adventure yesterday and I have to say that I had some thoughts about it. The first one is that it was so much better than the movie! Now, ob-vi-ou-sly that is just the way with any book-to-movie, but what I mean is that they changed soooo much. It was so dark and sombre and scary, so much better than that disney shit they made in 'hollywood', if that's even it's real name. I want a do-over.

Moving on. Like I needed another reason to be on my iphone constantly, last night for the first time I used the notes app. I never did before. Usually I have a cool leather book with me that my Sister gave me (not Mitchi, one of the others, let's call her Snowy, short for Snow White) and I use that to put notes or thoughts in that I might write about later. Anyway, I didn't have it so I used the notes app. I prefixed it with the old 'sorry, don't wanna be rude, I'm not texting, just taking some notes from time to time', but it really didn't make me any less rude. Still I did it. Now, several times I've wished that some nerd would just hurry up and invent a device for recording thoughts, like a dictaphone in your head that as you have a thought, you can say 'record that for later, please' and it will. Like yesterday when I was home alone, I said something really funny to my dog, and I thought to myself 'that was really funny Robyn. You're witty and cute.' But then I forgot it, I forgot the funny thing, and I can't get by on just being cute, cos I'm really not even very cute, I was just pepping myself up! So, yeah, nerds, get off your asses, tear youselves away from the atari or whatever it is that you do and invent my inner dictaphone!

Now, I'm not going to write about the things I recorded in notes last night, cos this post is long already. What I am going to do is point out one last weird thing: I find it so odd how different chicks get rid of leg hair. There's so many combos. I shave from my ankle (obvs) although I do shave my toes sometimes, ick to toe hair, go up to my knee, shave that and then go about 15 to 20cm above the knee. That's my formula. I never wear short shorts without leggins anyway, so that's easily high enough. I don't wear bathers either. But I can remember a chick in high school who only shaved to her knee. I was embarrased for her, cos right above her knee was mega hairy all the way up! It was hair bike pants! She clearly thought it was ok, cos the bottom part was smooth. Weird. I also had a friend whose Mum wouldn't let her wax or shave so the tried to use band-aids to rip the hair out. Unfortunate.

Anyway, that's all for now, got my first Lacrosse game today so I need to shave my legs, don't want my ankle tape to hurt any more than it has to. Come to think of it, she could've waxed that way...

Au revoir!


P.S. here is a pic of a buddah with a moose on top.

1 comment:

  1. Oh I just pee'd my pants at that pic of your nephew, very David Cassidy hot hahahahah oh my so funny!

    That giraffe is nifty, We have a couple here the midget thinks she can grow as tall as one.

    Sounds like the cockmuncher is a big fibber, he lies and wears sweaters around his shoulders, there has to be a special place in hell for his kind.

    Have fun at your game!

    I shave my toes too because nair smells rank