And away she rolls...

Alright.

So, I finally have a blog. Yes, I want to be a writer, not just a pretentious git who wants people to share their innermost thoughts. I have writer friends. Their advice: start with a blog. So here I am in my mini study which looks more like a junk room, floor covered with dog hair of two varieties and the dogs who shed it, not even wearing a bra and daring to write to possible people who may read it.

BE WARNED: you might be offended! I might talk about poo or my thoughts on porn and I plan to air my opinions with almost complete disregard for who may be left bloodied and dying along the way!

Now that the housework is taken care of, what does one blog about? Current affairs? one's own life? Opinions and rantings? I'm going to scratch current affairs because that shit is boooooring and anyone can turn on the tv anyway. P'raps I'll start with me and go from there. Please note that I do like to occasionally use old school abbreviations like e'ry and o'er. No reason why so maybe I am a pretentious git after all. Moving on. I got a tattoo yesterday. I love it. It's a big (well pretty big) koi fish on my left forearm. I sat for four hours on that thing. Clancy from the Body Art Shop in Adelaide did it, she's very good. Did it hurt? Yes. Not all of it, but having your elbow scrotum tattoed is horrid and I wouldn't recommend it unless absolutely necessary. Knowing this, I probably would've done it wanyway because I like to think I'm pretty hard and I like to prove that. Here's a pic of the koi.

So now my sleeve is finished. Well, almost, I might get a bit of colour in there later. So now I have a big chubby elbow and it hurts. That aside, my arm is now much less boring and I would recommend any of the artists at the Body Art Shop if you want a tattoo.

So, that's recent stuff. Something else I reckon I should blog about is roller derby. It's so hot right now. It's my first year doing it and I love it. I really want to be a jammer. Unfortunately for me, so does just about everyone else so I got my work cut out for me. Seriously, there is a reason this sport is awesome, several actually, I'll list them. It's sexy. Show me a man (straight man) who doesn't want to watch scantily clad women smash each other to the ground? Add gay women to that group. I can talk about gay women cos I'm gay, well mostly. Also, it's brutal. Sexy or not, there's so many people who wanna watch anything brutal. And here is the clincher (yes I am aware that I started a sentence with and, I DON'T care), it is empowering and inclusive. Shit, there was a reason I took up inline and then ice hockey, cos not many women play and women are BITCHES (we all know it, just admit it) and can't get along in sport. Derby has turned that on its head. I have never in my life seen well over a hundred women get in one room, smash the shit out of each other and not utter one bitchy word or snide remark! It's very cool. Also, women of all ages and sizes can play (except if you're under 18), they can find something everyone is good at. The wagon is getting pretty loaded and I gotta be honest, I don't know what's gunna happen at the end of this year when another hundred chicks turn up. I'll write more on derby later, it's awesome, that's all for now.

Should I write more about me? I guess... I live in Adelaide, I'm 32, I have a girlfriend, two dogs, two cats and I'm in love with my iphone, that's about it. I work at the Ice Arena. I used to play ice hockey but it got too competitive and a bit bitchy so I retired. Also the politics are bullshit.

Now, I did promise talk of poo so here it is: we're currently our of tp so I had to wipe my as with wet ones. It was squidgy, 'nuff said.

Well, I s'pose that's enuf for today.

Self analysis: Was I interesting? Mildly.

Was I funny? Not really.

Was I dirty? I did say poo. Twice.

Sweet. Done. Til soon,

Robi

P.S. here is a pic of my dog wearing headphones.