Thursday, January 20, 2011

...and what would y'all like fur an entree?

Wow wow wow.
Ok so let's start from the start. I got next to no sleep before we left, too excited. We had been flat chat for days before we left, and about 8pm on the last night Caddy rocked up to pick up my car. This would have gone smoothly except for after she got dropped off and was sitting in the car, she realised she couldn't drive it. Haha we had an impromptu driving lesson and after minimal bunny hops I think she'll be ok. Hopefully.
Never to be too similar to the movie Home Alone, we woke up on time and got to the airport easily, thanks to the cabbie who spent considerable time explaining why and how there is no god, the answer involves a comet.
Our flights were pretty much uneventful, I was proud of how meticulously we packed, we passed effortlessly through all security points.
Upon arrival in NY, we had the unfortunate circumstance to book a cabbie that had next to no mastery of the English language, so we gleaned no info from him. When we got in, he said 'u know the fare?'
I said 'no, why, u gunna rip us off?'
He said it was $50, plus tip but he didn't help us get our bags out so I really wish I had just said 'be good to ur mother n don't eat yellow snow'.
Moving on.
So, once in our hotel, we got changed and walked to Times Square. After I gave all my change to a homeless guy in Army cams in a wheelchair and had none for the second, third and fourth beggar that approached me I realised that: a. NY has a lot of homeless ppl and b. I need more change and c. I look like a sucker. This also applies to the people that stand around selling tickets to comedy shows. They see me coming.
After a look around, we went to TGI Friday's for tea. First American lesson- don't order an appetizer AND a main meal (which they call entree for some reason). The portions are HUGE. Kat got a salad, it was seriously FIVE TIMES the size she would normally eat. Mine too, no way I could finish. Whilst eating, I mentioned to Kat how sore my hands were, I have a little bit of dermatitis. When she offered me hemorrhoid cream, I knew we were truly fatigued and needed bed. I looked at her strange and said 'hemorrhoid cream?' she laughed and said 'I meant cortisone cream'. P.s. Neither of us have hemorrhoids.
Once back at our hotel, we stopped at the bar for a nightcap and being the ever cheesy goober that I am, I channeled Don Draper and ordered an Old Fashioned. WOW was it strong! Kitty ordered a caramel Appletini and I even had to finish that for her. Verdict on Old Fashioned-nice after the sugar cube melts, too strong til then.
Breakfast we went to Applebee's and I started a fight an got kicked out. Wait, that was Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights, we just had brekky and left peaceably. Our server looked like a human kewpie doll, it was terrifying.
Then we went to Brooklyn! We took the subway and were dismayed that the chick in the ticket booth was a total BITCH but she wasn't gunna bring US down! We made our way to 5 stride skate shop and I spent $230. For that I got: knee pads, wrist guards, a full set of atom wheels, a packet of bones reds and a sleeveless sweater. BARGAIN!!! We met OMG and she fitted me for boots. The boots I tried belong to BONNIE THUNDERS (no big deal) and they were made for my foot indeed. I'm waiting to order a pair, they're not on the market yet even.
From there we did a spot of shopping. I keep finding FREAKING COOL and CHEAP shoes and they keep NOT HAVING MY SIZE and it's pissing me off slightly, but we're in NY so it's not bringin me down too much.
HOLY BALLSACK they have a shop here called Lids FULL OF HATS AND NOTHING BUT HATS well there are some non-hat items but MOSTLY COOL HATS AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE. I'm gunna go back after Canada, get me some headwear.
NY is very pretty at night, but my holy baby jeebus is it COLD!! quite literally there are times I can't feel my face and I know that I must be very accomplished at talking cos it takes over and does it on it's own. I had to buy better gloves, earmuffs and another beanie. Allegedly there is going to be a snowstorm tonight. I hope not, cos we're driving to Canada 2moro. Crazy.
We went back to Applebee's for dinner. The chick that served us was awesome. She looked like the black dancer from Pink's live shows. She took our order, I finally crumbled and got MOZZARELLA STICKS!!! they were worth the bloat, totally. It was an appetizer. She came back n we were like 'we'll just have the artichoke thing.' she said
'ok, another appetizer, and what will u have for ur entrees?' she was surprised when we didn't order anything else. The portion size here is OUT OF EFFING ORDER!!
Ok, well I better go, gotta get some sleep b4 my big drive,
I'll try to upload the pic of me with OMG but blogging on an iPhone is très difficile...
Next installment: Canada!!

1 comment:

  1. Pic of OMG n me is above! She is super cool and put up with all my annoying questions like an absolute champ!