Wednesday, June 2, 2010

back in the land of the living...

Ok so I had a dream about my Dad last night. I have these from time to time. In my dreams, he's alive again. Even though when I wake up and it isn't true, and I have gluey eyes from crying at some point, I like them cos then at least he's still alive in my memory. WHAT I EFFING HATE is that in the majority of them, he is still sick, and I am aware that the end for him is near. RIPPED OFF!!! What a cruel mind I own that I can have these blissful times with him again, with that hanging over our heads! Screw you, brain, screw you.
Anyway, so we had our second derby bout of the season last Saturday night, after which we celebrated so heartily that it has taken me until Thursday to be able to face a computer screen. We won! It was the epic battle I predicted, and I was smashed six ways from Sunday! I painted a black strip over my eyes in order to appear fierce (or like Adam Ant I'm told) and made up my mind to lay it all out. I tweaked my hip and sprained my thumb, but boy, did I skate hard. I tried my ASS off. I think i did ok, I scored a few points this time and I think I knocked a few chicks over, who can remember? I can officially say that I am addicted. Now, for anyone reading this who lives in Adelaide (all three of you lol), if you're keen to see some awesome derby and mad skills, you should go to The Great Southern Slam. It's the first ever national Derby tourny to be held in Aus, and we have it right here. It's next weekend, the 12th and 13th of June. For more info, visit and trust me, you NEED to see it. So, after our rumbling victory, we headed to the Wheaty to celebrate. They are one of our major sponsors, so they give us drink vouchers. As I was prattling on about something to one of our refs, I noticed some friends of mine trying to conince a friend of theirs to leave, as she was too drunk. She hung around to talk for a bit, she was funny and I found her amicable. She started to get animated with whatever she was saying, her arms began flailing wildly. She knocked my wine glass out of my hand and it smashed on the ground! This was fine by me, as I was already halfway toasted on free drinks and also, I love seeing things smash into smithereens. She insisted on buying me another. I told her that wasn't necessary, that I had 'these' and I showed her the vouchers. She was too drunk to tell what they were, so I said 'us derby girls get complimentary drinks'. She pulled my jacket wide open, took a look at my dress and squealed how much she loves derby girls. She didn't know I was one. Never mind that I was wearing the same dress as 14 other girls...
We went from there to La Sing, where I got more drunk. I found myself having a d & m with the trannie with fripples (she's really nice) and people kept stealing my drinks. I can remember getting disgruntled when the bouncer outside politely asked me to speak more quietly, so I was whisked into a taxi and sent home. This is where things get reeeal hazy. Remember after last bout when we got home and Kat put her bathers on? Well, allegedly, I got in the door and started stripping right away. Kat says that as I was struggling with my leggins, I started to sob. She asked me what was wrong and I said 'you don't know how hard it is!' Yeah, getting pants off is real hard. Thousands of horny drunk teens manage every day, but I can't get my head around the quantum physics of it.
Next thing I know is waking up at 8:30 the Sun morn. We had Adelaide training at 11. Since I couldn't open both eyes simultaneously, I pretty much ruled that out. My first words to kat were 'Oh bubba, my head hurts soooooo much.'
She said 'do you know where your painkillers are?'
'I don't even know where my own name is' was the best I could come up with.
Also, I was butt naked. I never, ever sleep naked. It makes me have bad dreams that I'm naked in front of people, which is a bad, bad thing. I pointed out to Kat that I was naked. She replied 'at least you weren't upside down', which was a good point. Often I wake up that way after a bender.
When I got up to pee, I found my clothes all over the house, I must have shed like a crazed whore. Luckily I left my Tophat in GoGo Fiasco's car, so it wasn't ruined. I can stand everything else, but that would have been tragedy.
So, I assume I had a great time Saturday night, but since I forgot to take my hangover cure, Sunday was horrible, and to top it all off, I got sick, so I couldn't train Monday either.
On the plus side, Tuesday kat and I went into K-Mart to get a new doona. I also bought a latex pillow, they rule, try one. Anyway, I was confronted with this:

and I had the most beautiful vision right there of me unzipping all the bags and flinging the balls far and wide, a cackling laugh ripping from my throat, my face distorted into a mask of terror, people cowering as the balls bounced off their heads and hands... staff rallying to intervene and slipping on the ocean of colour in their haste... I took this pic, sighed, smiled and left, thinking about what could be, if I ever had the guts to live outside my fantasies...
Now, one last thing to finish on - my beautiful girlfriend, who had a dozen roses sent to me today (just because) and I were sitting on the lounge Sunday night when she started to laugh. I asked her what was funny and she showed me an exchange of texts between us that neither of us remember from Saturday night. It goes like this:
Me to her: (little pics of hearts, the html on blogsport won't let me do it)
Her to me: ^_^ I love you.
Me to her: Vagina
Her to me: *bedroom eyes*
Me to her: Vagina eyes
And that's where it ended. I can't imagine why she opted out of that convo - it seems like it was going somewhere to me. My favourite thing is the lack of punctuation on my part - that's how you can tell I was really drunk.
Well, until nextie!

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