Friday, June 4, 2010

1000 hits! I might be the next Stephanie Meyer except I don't write drivel... or do I???

Ok. I find myself with a little spare time so I thought I should record something odd that happened to me last night. I have a blocked nose at present. So, I groggily noticed as I was falling under that with every exhalation I was making a clear whistle. It registered as being annoying, but I was so tired, I dropped off. Now, when I woke up, I had the clearest recollection of my dream. I was in a classroom and I went to hand a pencil to a girl. As I approached her, she screamed. I can remember being irritated, and I tried to give it to her again. She screamed again. I stopped trying, get your own damn pencil then, bitch. But she kept screaming. Over and over like that episode of the Simpsons where Homer has some repressed memories surface. I became more and more irate at her, and I told her to stop. Once, twice and the third time I threatened her with violence if she didn't stop that stupid screaming. She continued, and I stood beside her desk, seething, hands clenched into shaking fists, enraged as I hissed through gritted teeth for her to get outside. She did, I followed and I started to lay into her. I punched her several times, but the screaming continued. Then I tried kissing her and it stopped. I also woke up... and realised I was still whistling with each breath, just as regular as her screams had been. I beat up that poor girl for nothing, it had been my fault all along, stupid boogers. Still, I got to first base, and it isn't cheating if you're asleep.
Also, I thought of something else the other day that I should record here in case anyone reads it, it will cheer you up if you're ever been mistaken for someone's Mum and you're not old enough to be, or if you've been called a boy and you cringe inside and think 'can't you see these puppies?'.
It's short and sweet. I have a mate, let's call her Moira. She's the strangest person I have ever met, and that's a pretty big call coming from me, I've got my head caught in a set of stairs once. Anyway Moira is younger than me by about two years. She is regularly sick, as she has a condition, but she does alright. This one day, we were in Coles, and she was recovering from something or another, and looked a little under the weather. As we grabbed a trolley, an elderly woman was staring right at us. Always one to prove stereotypes wrong, I approached her and asked if I could help with anythying. She looked back and forth between Moira and I and asked Moira 'is this your son?'
I started to laugh. The woman said 'what's so funny?'
I said 'lady, I'm older than her, and I'm not even a boy!'
She got flustered and replied 'I said daughter.'
That made me laugh even harder and as I walked away I said 'I might be older than her but I'm not deaf!'
Moira was pissed! There was also another time someone else thought she was my sister's Mum hahaha poor Moira.
So, the moral of the story is, don't be disheartened if some dodderly old fool can't see you properly, they're probably going to die soon anyway.

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