Hooo Lawdy!

Alright. So let's get it over with, yes, I was in the snow (with over a metre of fresh) for a week while everyone else was at work/school/uni. Put the jealousy on a shelf while I tell you the story please, then you can glare at me through eye slits if you still want to.

So, months ago, I checked my fb for the twentieth time that day (thank you iphone) and there was a message from Travis, the boyfriend of a best mate of mine. It read: 'do you snowboard?'

I replied 'yes, I do. But Lucy has been trying to get me to go riding with her for the last five years, and my answer is always the same: I have no money.'

After a couple of hours: 'What about if I paid for your flights and accomodation as a birthday present to Lucy?'

My reply: 'Uh, ok.'

So It was decided. I was going to the snow for the first time since I was in Canada in 2005. Woot. Since my Mum from time to time had been sending little pieces of my gear down (imagine my surprise to open up a parcel and in with the birthday gifts are also the base plates from my bindings) I had everything I needed except my board. I asked her to send it down, but since I'm a massive scrooge, I asked her to go to the op shop, buy some blankets and a roll of packing tape and wrap it up like a giant present. She did, and god bless, found that the cheapest way to send it was on a greyhound. I popped in to the depot the week after to pick it up.

'Hello. I'm here to pick up my snowboard please.'

'Oh... nope. No snowboards here.'

I point to my snowboard: 'what about that?'

'Oh. That snowboard.'

Yup, that one. Never let anyone tell you that greyhound is running anything less than a world-class operation.

So, very early on Saturday the 21st, off I popped to Melbourne. I spent the majority of the day watching hockey at the new rink there, the Icehouse. I'm not gunna lie, it's magical. Majestical even. Angels sung as I entered. Their Zamboni is a cat. Behold.

I don't think I need to say anything more on that.

Sunday about 3am we headed off for Hotham. The closer we got, the more evident that it became that there was already a very generous amount of snow. Choice. We parked the car, got geared up and went to ride straight away. Let me tell you who 'we' were.

Lucy: Mad snowboarder. Mad chick. Mad hockey player. Just mad.

Travis: bf of Lucy, good snowboarder, general shitstirrer.

Sheree: friend of all, leggins wearer, decent rider but not fond of toeside edge.

Jonno: Amazing dancer, nice guy and funnyman. Great rider, good at faceplants.

Fab: cool guy, great rider and lover of ladies.

Sylvia: didn't see her ride much but I get the impression she shreds. Great dreads.

Costy: brand new rider. No fear, will try rails and jumps and smash into beer kegs.

Tony: world-seasoned travelling rider. Good looking and not afraid to appear gay when dancing.

Me: textbook intermediate rider, generally likeable buffoon, not good at tree runs.

So we got straight into it. My goal the whole time was to be trying jumps by the end of it. I was mindful not to injure myself for my derby final so I didn't go too nuts and by the end of the week, I was indeed jumping and getting air. Baby air but air nonetheless and I didn't crash any landings. Behold, the awesomeness of my HUGE air.

Any hole's a goal, as they say.

So as mentioned already, there was lots of snow. On account of the fact that mother nature is a skanky moll with no teeth and clearly miffed about it, instead of just snowing quietly at night while we're all dreaming of big air, it was basically a blizzard the entire time. The only exception to that was the hour of sunshine we got on tuesday. We were riding around and when the sun came out we thought that we might head over to the Orchard chair, a place we had wanted to go to for a while. On our way to the lift to take us there, Fab had a great idea - to take a shortcut through some trees. Lemme get this straight - it was not a tree run. It was just trees we foolishly went into. Halfway through, after scraping straight over trees, rocks and Lucy, I took off my board and walked. Clever you might think, I did too, til I sunk to my crotch in snow. By the time we got out of the trees, it was cloudy and spewing snow on our heads like so much confetti at a wedding before the littering taboo set in. Fun memories.

Other than that, good riding.

Nightlife. Beer pong. Alcohol. Staff having a retro night. Me creepily stroking the leg of a girl I did not know on the bus ride home because she was wearing slinky, sparkly pants. Apparently, she didn't mind, but that's second-hand information, I certainly don't remember it.

We had to dig the car out. I cleaned the apartment instead, as I don't go much for digging at the best of times.

Back in Melbourne, and Saturday night I took Lucy and Trav to the South Sea Roller Derby's first public bout. For a first time bout, I was impressed - good sized crowd, great skills, big hits and I got to say hi to the lovely Kitty Decapitate, who coached the winning team. I recognised her bf who is a ref before I saw her, he's a good ref, very thorough and not power-trippy at all.

Ok, that's plenty long enough. One last quick story before I sign off. Saturday morning our cat Kitty was attacked by a big ginger ninja and got a severely injured neck, poor lil thing. Consequently she's hardly moved from our bed, she's still so wobbly. Naturally, being away in the snow for 9 nights, there were things Kat and I wanted to do upon my return... Kinda icky though with Kitty on the bed and all. So we've both been too polite to talk about it, you know, out of respect for Kitty. Last night we broke the silence:

Me: 'Y'know, I gotta admit, I'm just about ready for that cat to be able to sleep elsewhere...'

Kat: 'I KNOW!! I mean shit, I know you've got a sore neck n' all, but jeez... go to the physio!'

Hahaha I can always count on Kat to go to a place nobody else will.

Sweet, so that's it. My 2010 snow adventure. Maybe next year I'll go again, and get another millimetre of air.

shiny salutations,

Tx