I promised myself I would blog every week. Then it changed to fortnightly. Then I started honours, and like the time I had five straight shots of black sambuca, it hits you all at once. I was bragging about how I had it all under control... hm.
Councidentally, around the same time that I started to quietly pop and fizz inside with panic, I began what I like to call 'the headache month'. I never didn't have a headache, just varying degrees of it - from 'hm, I don't think I can watch another episode of Mad Men, I have a headache' to 'take this note to my Mother and tell her I love her... oh and there's a watch up my ass'. Eventually I couldn't take it anymore and my very good friend the lovely Vaderella told me about her miracle healer, so I went.
Sideline Interjection - BK is amazing. Dw If you don't understand this, I'll explain later.
So. Off to the healer man. Get this - two days before I went, I was complaining to Kat about my left hip and the right side of my upper jaw. I'm not sure if she was listening cos the tv was on, but I remember telling her and being baffled at why they would hurt, I had been doing nothing but assignments. When I went to see him, he asked me through to his examination area thing and stood about 2.5 to 3 metres away from me and looked me up and down once (not in a creepy way). He says:
'Well, your hip's out,' and pointed to my left hip.
I said 'uh, that's a bit weird, it has been hurting of late...'
He walked up to me as he said 'it's throwing you whole body off. let me guess, it really hurts here... but not here.' He poked my left bicep and I (no joke) yelped in pain, poked the right, nothing. After a couple more comparisons, he touched the left side of my jaw, nothing, touched the right, BAM. Weird, huh? All that from looking at me (not creepily). He did some things to my spine, there were pops and cracks and all of a sudden I felt looser (not in a sexual way). He told me it might be a couple days until it settled in. Lo and behold, two days later I woke up without a headache for the first time in a month. Chiropractice (did I get that right) is gold. Thanks Vader.
Now, I've missed out on some things owing to these headaches, the most notable - several assignment deadlines. Luckily I have amazing tutors and they have been very understanding. Regardless of posture or glasses, it's kinda impossible to stare at a computer screen for hours on end when your head is crumbling like so many eroding beaches. Another thing I missed was several chances to dress up. A Mighty Boosh party, our league end of season party and Halloween (I didn't even go out that wknd, just wrote and wrote). I didn't dress up for any of them. One thing I was adamant that I wouldn't miss was the dress up skating birthday party of my lil mate Diggity. He turned thirteen. This kid is all kinds of awesome. He makes shirts for all the derby girls and he decorated my new helmet. He comes to bouts dressed in a top hat and eye stripe, just like me, and he skates like the wind. So, he had a thriller dress up party. Since I was still busy with uni work, I thought of a costume that I wouldn't have to spend any money on or time either. Here it is.
Now, I've missed out on some things owing to these headaches, the most notable - several assignment deadlines. Luckily I have amazing tutors and they have been very understanding. Regardless of posture or glasses, it's kinda impossible to stare at a computer screen for hours on end when your head is crumbling like so many eroding beaches. Another thing I missed was several chances to dress up. A Mighty Boosh party, our league end of season party and Halloween (I didn't even go out that wknd, just wrote and wrote). I didn't dress up for any of them. One thing I was adamant that I wouldn't miss was the dress up skating birthday party of my lil mate Diggity. He turned thirteen. This kid is all kinds of awesome. He makes shirts for all the derby girls and he decorated my new helmet. He comes to bouts dressed in a top hat and eye stripe, just like me, and he skates like the wind. So, he had a thriller dress up party. Since I was still busy with uni work, I thought of a costume that I wouldn't have to spend any money on or time either. Here it is.
To accompany this, I took a hockey stick with the blade covered in blood, like it slit my throat. Turns out that particular brand of fake blood looks really cool, but is very, very sticky. Every time I looked down, my neck stuck to itself and as the night wore on it got worse, and started to really hurt when I separated it. Nonetheless, I think I looked pretty gory. The party was heaps of fun, although I felt weird skating in quads and hockey gear. It's kinda like when you see someone in a really cool outfit, skinny jeans and stuff and then you look down and they're wearing sneakers. It's just not right.
After the party we were hungry and decided on KFC. Caddy and I chatted and agreed on the KFC we would go to. The only problem with that discussion is that although I was making eye contact and nodding, I wasn't listening to her and I went to the wrong KFC. After I got us to the right KFC, they were closed. We went to the door and it said open til 11pm and it was just after ten. We spoke through the glass at the chick and told her they had to let us in cos the door said 11. She did. Then the manager was like 'no! we're closed!' and we said 'what? It's not eleven!' This went on for a minute (bear in mind we were all still in Costume, I felt like a peewee hockey player whose parents dress them prior to arrival at the rink) until they told us we had to go through drive through. We (lied and) told them we didn't have a car, I don't know why, we were just riled up I guess. They said we could walk through. We said 'well ok, but you should put that info on the door, it's false advertising.' On our way out we spotted the smaller print that said 'drive thru only after 10pm'. Bunch of douches, that's us.
The next day I spent writing and awaiting a call from my hairdresser, who takes the word 'cool' to a fifth dimension that only dogs can hear. Coincidentally, just as I finished, she text me and said I could come round. I was tired of my hair already after only three months, I never did anything with it, just got up every morning and put a hat on. Also, it's so thick that my scalp is starved for air so I decided it was time for a change - a whopping great change. This is the result:
Just kidding, that's not me, this is:
Hahahahahaha ok enough tricks, this time it's really me:
That's a quiff in the middle there! I will say that I love my new hair - I love to be different to everyone else. Also, it's easy to style, versatile and cool for summer. What I will also say is that it is not popular amongst my peers so far. I calculate that only about five percent of people that I know who have seen it, like it. I can tell because they see me, look for a second then pretend they don't even notice and they say nothing, or perhaps they say 'ohhh... you have a haircut...' and either walk away or change the subject. I'm not stupid. I know it's not for everyone. But it is hair - the very nature of which (unless you're Peter Garrett) is to grow, so I'm not stuck with a mohawk forever, it's just a bit of fun for now. When you look in the mirror, do you say (via inner monologue of course) 'I sure am an individual... bit of a dork but an individual nonetheless. I stand out in a crowd and like to live life on the edge! Go me!' OR is it more like this - 'I have long hair. It can go in a pony or stay down. I am reliable and fear change. People seem to like me because I am polite, and I'm rarely late.' ?
Anyway, although largely uneventful, that has been my month. Now I can go back to fortnightly.
Sweet! You stay classy, interwebs!
Tx
P.S. BK is my tallest friend and she complains every blog post that I never mention her awesomeness. She beats me at The Day Of Poo app but once I punched her in her glasses and smashed them to smithereens. They were not on her face at the time.
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